Award winning Joke-Engineering Rocks Again

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               M.B.A Student (vs) B.E Student

This particular joke won an award for the best joke in a competition

organized in Britain and this joke was sent by an Indian......

A MBA and a BE student go on a camping trip, set up their tent ,and fell asleep.

Some hours later, the BE student wakes his MBA friend and says

"Look up at the sky and tell me what you see."

The MBA replies, "I see millions of stars."

The BE asks, "What does that tell you?"

    The MBA ponders for a minute.

"Astronomically speaking, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies

and potentially billions of planets.

Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo.

Time wise, it appears to be approximately a quarter past three.

Theologically, it's evident the Lord is all-powerful and

we are small and insignificant.

Meteorologically, it seems we will have a beautiful day tomorrow.

What does it tell you?"

The BE is silent for a moment, then speaks.

"Practically.....Someone has stolen our tent".

"ENGINEERING = 100% COMMON SENSE"

 

lying on your resume

Cute story... Read till the end...

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THE TALE OF A DATE
  She is my first and the only love till this point. Her name is Nivedita, a software engineer by profession. She is turning twenty-four shortly and she is undoubtedly the most beautiful girl on earth. I made it a point to share my feelings today with her, hoping this letter would do it all. I have not written any letters in my life till now, and this is perhaps the first time I pen down my thoughts and expectations for the person I love the most on earth.
  Its been four years since we met each other and a strong bond has grown between us through these years. I was unaware of her love for a long time. In fact, I hadnt spoken a word with her till about a year I had seen her for the first time. It was in one long journey in train, I understood her love for me. It happened a year ago.
It was a trip from Kanyakumari to Chennai in Kanyakumari Express. We had passed Vizhupuram and it was 3 am in the morning. I thought I was the only one who was awake in the whole compartment in that early hour. But to my surprise, she was also awake.
I didnt know then that it was for me she had got up that early. Hardly had she seemed to move her sight away from me. She smiled at me very often and every time I encountered that cute smile, I started eagerly awaiting the next battle with her smile and shining eyes. Her smile had everything in it, the story of unbelievable affection, care and what not.
From that moment, till now, I too have loved her to a great extent. We have never exchanged words about the love we have towards each other, but words are too less to reflect the amount of affection and love we share. I have always thought that the love would remain throughout our life and it happened to be the same till three months back.
Vivek had come into my life three months back. In fact I myself had waited his arrival for quite a long time, but from the moment he arrived, he has been the worst enemy in my life. Nivedita and he had grown close over times, and the fraction of time she spent with me got lowered to a great extent. Even the latest Sensex fall would be less compared to the fall in her affection for me.
I have wondered how it could suddenly happen, after near to four long years of understanding and love amidst us. At times, I have felt like killing that guy Vivek, but I have not had that much strength or braveness to do that. Still, what can he do? He did no mistake to his part, except for being born charming, cute and fair.
Two days before when I saw her, she was feeding food for him and I was hurt to the core on seeing the incident. My anger had boiled down to tears, and I broke. It took almost close to three hours for me stop crying, I felt I had cried more than how much I would have cried when I was born.
I have been trying to understand where it all went wrong, but to my fortune, till now, I havent been able spot it out. Once for all, I decided to tell all my feelings to her, no matter how she is going to deal with it. I have heard my dad saying a lot of times Something is better than nothing! and I made up my mind to do something.
I fixed today to be the DATE for throwing open in front of her the TALE of my pure love for her. I dont know whether I will get a positive response from her, but I pray God that only the best happens.
Trrrrriinnnnnnggggg…
My school bell has rung. The lunch break is over. My UKG classmates would be ready to welcome me with the same cute smile as ever.
I hope my MOTHER Nivedita will be alright, understands me and shares some time with me also, apart from that she spends with my three months old rascal BROTHER Vivek.
See you after a break!!!

With Love,
ShyamUKG-B

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WINDOWS XP HIDDEN APPS:

1. Character Map = charmap.exe (very useful for finding unusual characters)
2. Disk Cleanup = cleanmgr.exe
3. Clipboard Viewer = clipbrd.exe (views contents of Windows clipboard)
4. Dr Watson = drwtsn32.exe (Troubleshooting tool)
5. DirectX diagnosis = dxdiag.exe (Diagnose & test DirectX, video & sound cards)
6. Private character editor = eudcedit.exe (allows creation or modification of characters)
7. IExpress Wizard = iexpress.exe (Create self-extracting / self-installing package)
8. Microsoft Synchronization Manager = mobsync.exe (appears to allow synchronization of files on the network for when working offline. Apparently undocumented).
9. Windows Media Player 5.1 = mplay32.exe (Retro version of Media Player, very basic).
10. ODBC Data Source Administrator = odbcad32.exe (something to do with databases)

Reduce Firefox Memory Usage

Firefox's memory leakage problems are well documented. This tip from gHacks should reduce Firefox's memory usage to under 10MB. It's very simple to implement:

1. Write 'about:config' in your firefox address bar and hit enter.
2. Right click and select new Boolean.
3. Paste config.trim_on_minimize in the field and hit enter again
4. Select True from the list.
5. Restart Firefox.

Interview Tips

• Think about your past successes and contributions.

• Write down stories that illustrate your value to an organization.

• Research the company, market, and competition in advance.

• Prepare intelligent questions.

• Write down why you are the ideal candidate for this position or company.

• Pay attention to your appearance.

• Arrive on-time or early.

• Realizes that there are many job opportunities available.

• Exude modest confidence and enthusiasm.

• Smile, shake hands firmly, look the interviewer in the eye, be friendly.

• Use your notes during the interview ("I jotted down a few thoughts ...").

• Remember that you are interviewing the company and visa versa.

• Listen well, answer questions honestly and succinctly.

• Ask questions about the position, culture and expectations.

• If you are interested in the position, tell the interviewer.

• Make sure you understand the next step, the process, and the time-frame.

• Immediately send a "thank you" note.

 

 

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Software Testing Engineer' Zameen par- Every tester is special !!

Software Testing Engineer' Zameen par- Every tester is special !!

Time to rephrase the 'maa' song from 'taare zameen par' to suit this profession...TM refers to 'Testing manager'

Anthem:

main kabhi complain karta nahi
par critical bugs ko lekar developers ki maarna chahata hoon TM
yun to main, dikhalata nahi
par paid-vacations par jaana chahata hoon TM
tujhe sab hain pata, hain na TM
tujhe sab hain pata, mere TM

issues mein yoon na chodo mujhe
ghar bhi jaa naa paoon TM
team pe itna bojh na do
baaki colleagues ko yaad bhi na aa paoon TM
kya itna bura hoon main TM
kya itna bura, mere TM

jab bhi kabhi project client-side pe deploy hota hain
ticket pe ticket aate hain TM
meri nazar dhoondhe tujhe
sochu.n yahi tu aa ke work distribute karega TM


TL's mujhse poochte nahi
manual kam..automation zyada karna chahta hoon TM
work effort pe effect aane deta nahi
par repetitive task karke bore ho jaata hoon TM
kya itna bura hoon scripting mein main TM
kya itna bura,mere TM

jab bhi kabhi...test cases prepare hote hain
ambiguity se kaamp jaata hoon TM
meri nazar dhoondhe bugs
exploratory testing hi karte reh jaata hoon main TM

on-site team se kehta nahi
par unke acquired-accent se seham jaata hoon TM
video confrencing me chehre pe aane deta nahi
dil hi dil mein gaaliyan deta hoon unko TM..
tujhe sab pata hain na TM
tujhe sab hai pata, mere TM

main kabhi batlata nahi
par on-site jaana chahata hoon main TM
yun to main dikhlata nahi
company se bhaag jana chahta hoon main TM
tujhe sab hain pata, hain na TM
tujse sab hain pata, mere TM

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