Friday, March 30, 2007
Tuesday, March 27, 2007
Understanding Women ????
If you kiss her, you are not a gentleman ???,????
If you don't, you are not a man ???,????
If you praise her, she thinks you are lying ???,????
If you don't, you are good for nothing ???,????
If you agree to all her likes, she is abusing ???,?????
If you don't, you are not understanding ???,????
If you make romance, you are an 'experienced man' ???,????
If you don't you are half a man ???,????
If you visit her too often, she thinks it is boring ???,????
If you don't, she accuses you of double crossing ???,????
If you are well dressed, she says you are a playboy ???,????
If you don't, you are a dull boy ???,????
If you are jealous, she says it's bad ???,????
If you don't , she thinks you do not love her ???,????
If you attempt a romance, she says you didn't respect her ???,????
If you don't, she thinks you do not like her ???,????
If you are a minute late, she complains it's hard to wait ???,????
If she is late, she says that's a girl's way ???,????
If you visit another, she accuses you of being a heel ???,????
If she is visited by another, 'oh it's natural, we are girls' ???,????
If you kiss her once in a while, she professes you are cold ???,????
If you kiss her too many, she yells that you are taking advantage ???,????
If you fail to help her in crossing the street, you lack ethics ????,?????
If you do, she thinks it's just one of the man's tactics ????,?????
If you stare at other, she accuses you of flirting ????,?????
If she is stared by others, she says that they are just admiring ????, ?????
If you talk, she wants you to listen ????,????
If you listen, she wants you to talk ????,?????
Oh God! you created those creature called "WOMAN' ???!???????? ??
So simple, yet so complex ????
So weak, yet so powerful ????
So confusing, yet so desirable ?????,?????
"O LORD, tell me what to do. AMEN" ???!????????
If you don't, you are not a man ???,????
If you praise her, she thinks you are lying ???,????
If you don't, you are good for nothing ???,????
If you agree to all her likes, she is abusing ???,?????
If you don't, you are not understanding ???,????
If you make romance, you are an 'experienced man' ???,????
If you don't you are half a man ???,????
If you visit her too often, she thinks it is boring ???,????
If you don't, she accuses you of double crossing ???,????
If you are well dressed, she says you are a playboy ???,????
If you don't, you are a dull boy ???,????
If you are jealous, she says it's bad ???,????
If you don't , she thinks you do not love her ???,????
If you attempt a romance, she says you didn't respect her ???,????
If you don't, she thinks you do not like her ???,????
If you are a minute late, she complains it's hard to wait ???,????
If she is late, she says that's a girl's way ???,????
If you visit another, she accuses you of being a heel ???,????
If she is visited by another, 'oh it's natural, we are girls' ???,????
If you kiss her once in a while, she professes you are cold ???,????
If you kiss her too many, she yells that you are taking advantage ???,????
If you fail to help her in crossing the street, you lack ethics ????,?????
If you do, she thinks it's just one of the man's tactics ????,?????
If you stare at other, she accuses you of flirting ????,?????
If she is stared by others, she says that they are just admiring ????, ?????
If you talk, she wants you to listen ????,????
If you listen, she wants you to talk ????,?????
Oh God! you created those creature called "WOMAN' ???!???????? ??
So simple, yet so complex ????
So weak, yet so powerful ????
So confusing, yet so desirable ?????,?????
"O LORD, tell me what to do. AMEN" ???!????????
Monday, March 26, 2007
some more funny lines
ROMANCE MATHEMATICS
Smart man + smart woman = romance
Smart man + dumb woman = affair
Dumb man + smart woman = marriage
Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy
OFFICE ARITHMETIC
Smart boss + smart employee = profit
Smart boss + dumb employee = production
Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion
Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime
SHOPPING MATH
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need.
GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
HAPPINESS
To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.
LONGEVITY
Married men live longer than single men do, but married men are a lot more willing to die.
PROPENSITY TO CHANGE
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.
DISCUSSION T! ECHNIQUE
A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED
Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, "You're next." They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.
Smart man + smart woman = romance
Smart man + dumb woman = affair
Dumb man + smart woman = marriage
Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy
OFFICE ARITHMETIC
Smart boss + smart employee = profit
Smart boss + dumb employee = production
Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion
Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime
SHOPPING MATH
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need.
GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
HAPPINESS
To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.
LONGEVITY
Married men live longer than single men do, but married men are a lot more willing to die.
PROPENSITY TO CHANGE
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.
DISCUSSION T! ECHNIQUE
A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED
Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, "You're next." They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.
Tuesday, March 20, 2007
some funny jokes
Man: Is there any way for long life?
Dr: Get married.
Man: Will it help?
Dr: No, but the thought of long life will never come.
*********
Why do couples hold hands during their wedding?
It's a formality just like two boxers shaking hands before the fight begins!
*********
Wife: Darling today is our anniversary, what should we do?
Husband: Let us stand in silence for 2 minutes.
*********
It's funny when people discuss Love Marriage vs Arranged.
It's like asking someone, if suicide is better or being murdered
*********
It is difficult to understand GOD . He makes such beautiful things as women and then he turns them into Wives
*********
If u r married please ignore this MSG,
For everyone else: Happy Independence Day
*********
Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night thinking about something you say.
After marriage, he'll fall asleep before you finish.
*********
There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage
*********
Galfriends r like chocolates,
Taste gud anytime.
Lovers r like PIZZAS, Hot n spicy, eaten frequently.
Wife r like Dal RICE, eaten when there`s no choice
*********
Man receives telegram: Wife deadshould be buried or cremated?
Man: Don't take any chances. Burn the body and bury the ash.
*********
Prospective husband: Do you have a book called 'Man, The Master of Women'?
Salesgirl: The fiction department is on the other side, sir.
*********
Q: Why dogs don't marry?
A: Because they are already leading a dog's life!
*********
Dr: Get married.
Man: Will it help?
Dr: No, but the thought of long life will never come.
*********
Why do couples hold hands during their wedding?
It's a formality just like two boxers shaking hands before the fight begins!
*********
Wife: Darling today is our anniversary, what should we do?
Husband: Let us stand in silence for 2 minutes.
*********
It's funny when people discuss Love Marriage vs Arranged.
It's like asking someone, if suicide is better or being murdered
*********
It is difficult to understand GOD . He makes such beautiful things as women and then he turns them into Wives
*********
If u r married please ignore this MSG,
For everyone else: Happy Independence Day
*********
Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night thinking about something you say.
After marriage, he'll fall asleep before you finish.
*********
There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage
*********
Galfriends r like chocolates,
Taste gud anytime.
Lovers r like PIZZAS, Hot n spicy, eaten frequently.
Wife r like Dal RICE, eaten when there`s no choice
*********
Man receives telegram: Wife deadshould be buried or cremated?
Man: Don't take any chances. Burn the body and bury the ash.
*********
Prospective husband: Do you have a book called 'Man, The Master of Women'?
Salesgirl: The fiction department is on the other side, sir.
*********
Q: Why dogs don't marry?
A: Because they are already leading a dog's life!
*********
Now how can a student pass
It's not the fault of the student if he fails, because the year ONLY has 365' days.
Typical academic year for a student:
1. Sundays-52, Sundays in a year, you know Sundays are for rest.Days left 313.
2. Summer holidays-50 where weather is very hot and difficult to study.Days
left 263.
3. 8 hours daily sleep- 130 days GONE. Days left 141.
4. 1 hour for daily playing- (good for health) means 15 days. Days left 126.
5. 2 hours daily for food & other delicacies (chewing properly & swallowing)means 30days. Days left 96.
6. 1 hour for talking (man is a social animal)-means 15 days. days left 81.
7. Exam days- per year at least 35 days. Days left 46.
8. Quarterly, Half yearly and festival (holidays)-40 days.Balance 6 days.
9. For sickness- at least 3 days. Remaining days=3.
10. Movies and functions - at least 2 days. 1 day left.
11. That 1 day is your birthday.
How can you study on that day??????!!! !!!!!!!
Balance = 0
"How can a student pass ??"
__._,_.___
Typical academic year for a student:
1. Sundays-52, Sundays in a year, you know Sundays are for rest.Days left 313.
2. Summer holidays-50 where weather is very hot and difficult to study.Days
left 263.
3. 8 hours daily sleep- 130 days GONE. Days left 141.
4. 1 hour for daily playing- (good for health) means 15 days. Days left 126.
5. 2 hours daily for food & other delicacies (chewing properly & swallowing)means 30days. Days left 96.
6. 1 hour for talking (man is a social animal)-means 15 days. days left 81.
7. Exam days- per year at least 35 days. Days left 46.
8. Quarterly, Half yearly and festival (holidays)-40 days.Balance 6 days.
9. For sickness- at least 3 days. Remaining days=3.
10. Movies and functions - at least 2 days. 1 day left.
11. That 1 day is your birthday.
How can you study on that day??????!!! !!!!!!!
Balance = 0
"How can a student pass ??"
__._,_.___
Sunday, March 18, 2007
Friday, March 16, 2007
Husbands are really innocent
1----- Where is the money?
2....... Show me ur Pockets...
4 .......MOVE..!!!!....Give me way..... I am going for shopping.
3............. I ll not give her the money...... She spends all of my salary.....Booohooo o!!!
5........ Thanks Sweetheart.. ......... bye
2....... Show me ur Pockets...
4 .......MOVE..!!!!....Give me way..... I am going for shopping.
3............. I ll not give her the money...... She spends all of my salary.....Booohooo o!!!5........ Thanks Sweetheart.. ......... bye
Monday, March 12, 2007
Top 20-Ranking Companies in India - 2006
Top 20-Ranking Companies in India - 2006
1
TCS
2
Wipro
3
Infosys Technologies
4
HP India Sales
5
IBM
6
Ingram Micro
7
Satyam Computer Services
8
Redington India
9
HCL Technologies
10
Cisco Systems
11
Intel
12
HCL Infosystems
13
Cognizant Technology Solutions
14
Microsoft India
15
Patni Computer Systems
16
Lenovo India
17
Samsung
18
Moser Bear
19
Oracle India
20
eSys Infotech
The Top 20-Best Employers in India - 2006
1
Tata Consultancy Services
2
RMSI
3
HCL Infosystems
4
Infosys Technologies
5
Cadence Design Systems
6
Hexaware Technologies
7
Aztecsoft
8
Induslogic
9
Wipro Technologies
10
Accel Frontline
Top List Company to work in the world with highest pay and Good Employee satisfaction:
1. Google
2. Yahoo
3. Sun Microsystems
4. IBM
5. Oracle.
6.AOL.
7.Apple Computers.
8.GE
9.Microsoft
10.Intel.
Top List Company to work in the India with highest pay, Good Employee satisfaction:
1. Google (bang)
2. Yahoo (bang)
3. Sun Microsystems (bang)
4. Trilogy (bang)
5. Oracle (Hyd, Bang)
6. Adobe and RedHat.(Bang) .
8. Microsoft (Hyd).
9. Verizon (Chennai).
10.SAP-Labs. (bang).
Best Quality Training Company for Entry level Software Engg in India is Infosys.
Best Outsourcing Company in the world is Accenture.
Highest no of employee: IBM.
Best Mail Server is Yahoo and Gmail.
Highest Hitting Web site is www.google.com
Best Supporting Company is Access-Linux and Sony.
Best Electronic Company Sony.
Best Computer DeskTop provider is Dell.
Best LabTop provider is IBM-Think.
Best MotherBoard provider is AMD.
Best Client for IT is City Bank and Deutsche Bank.
Best Products by the Software Company:
1. Mainframes Server by IBM.
2. Application Server by Oracle
3. Business ware Tool by IBM MQ-series.
4. Application Servers by Sun Microsystems.
5. Application servers by bea-Weblogic.
6. Application servers by IBM-Webshpere.
7. Oracle database by Oracle.
8. MS Office by Microsoft.
9. Lotus Notes Mail server by IBM.
10. Integration tools by tibco.
Best Commerce Server is Web sphere Commerce Server by IBM.
Top Best Fields to work:
1. Main Frames
2. SAP.
3. EAI-Integration domain in all tech.
4. Java/j2ee
5. Embedded Technology.
6. Dot Net.
7. Oracle
8. ERP
9. Mercury Testing tools.
10. Networking and Routers using C.
Best Position in Software Company after Management team:
1. Business Analyst team.
2. Application Integration team.
3. Application and Product Development team.
4. System Development team.
5. Quality Control Team.
6. DB Team.
7. Networking and System admin team.
8. Application maintenance and Enhancement team.
9. System maintenance team.
10. Testing Team.
11. Marketing Team.
12. Finance Team.
13. Human Resource Team.
14. Resource Management Team.
15. Infrastructure Maintenance and Help Desk team.
Best Operating System:
1. Unix (For security and Capability)
2. Microsoft Windows 2000 (For GUI and Flexibility)
3. Sun Solaris.
4. Red Hat Linux.
1
TCS
2
Wipro
3
Infosys Technologies
4
HP India Sales
5
IBM
6
Ingram Micro
7
Satyam Computer Services
8
Redington India
9
HCL Technologies
10
Cisco Systems
11
Intel
12
HCL Infosystems
13
Cognizant Technology Solutions
14
Microsoft India
15
Patni Computer Systems
16
Lenovo India
17
Samsung
18
Moser Bear
19
Oracle India
20
eSys Infotech
The Top 20-Best Employers in India - 2006
1
Tata Consultancy Services
2
RMSI
3
HCL Infosystems
4
Infosys Technologies
5
Cadence Design Systems
6
Hexaware Technologies
7
Aztecsoft
8
Induslogic
9
Wipro Technologies
10
Accel Frontline
Top List Company to work in the world with highest pay and Good Employee satisfaction:
1. Google
2. Yahoo
3. Sun Microsystems
4. IBM
5. Oracle.
6.AOL.
7.Apple Computers.
8.GE
9.Microsoft
10.Intel.
Top List Company to work in the India with highest pay, Good Employee satisfaction:
1. Google (bang)
2. Yahoo (bang)
3. Sun Microsystems (bang)
4. Trilogy (bang)
5. Oracle (Hyd, Bang)
6. Adobe and RedHat.(Bang) .
8. Microsoft (Hyd).
9. Verizon (Chennai).
10.SAP-Labs. (bang).
Best Quality Training Company for Entry level Software Engg in India is Infosys.
Best Outsourcing Company in the world is Accenture.
Highest no of employee: IBM.
Best Mail Server is Yahoo and Gmail.
Highest Hitting Web site is www.google.com
Best Supporting Company is Access-Linux and Sony.
Best Electronic Company Sony.
Best Computer DeskTop provider is Dell.
Best LabTop provider is IBM-Think.
Best MotherBoard provider is AMD.
Best Client for IT is City Bank and Deutsche Bank.
Best Products by the Software Company:
1. Mainframes Server by IBM.
2. Application Server by Oracle
3. Business ware Tool by IBM MQ-series.
4. Application Servers by Sun Microsystems.
5. Application servers by bea-Weblogic.
6. Application servers by IBM-Webshpere.
7. Oracle database by Oracle.
8. MS Office by Microsoft.
9. Lotus Notes Mail server by IBM.
10. Integration tools by tibco.
Best Commerce Server is Web sphere Commerce Server by IBM.
Top Best Fields to work:
1. Main Frames
2. SAP.
3. EAI-Integration domain in all tech.
4. Java/j2ee
5. Embedded Technology.
6. Dot Net.
7. Oracle
8. ERP
9. Mercury Testing tools.
10. Networking and Routers using C.
Best Position in Software Company after Management team:
1. Business Analyst team.
2. Application Integration team.
3. Application and Product Development team.
4. System Development team.
5. Quality Control Team.
6. DB Team.
7. Networking and System admin team.
8. Application maintenance and Enhancement team.
9. System maintenance team.
10. Testing Team.
11. Marketing Team.
12. Finance Team.
13. Human Resource Team.
14. Resource Management Team.
15. Infrastructure Maintenance and Help Desk team.
Best Operating System:
1. Unix (For security and Capability)
2. Microsoft Windows 2000 (For GUI and Flexibility)
3. Sun Solaris.
4. Red Hat Linux.
Friday, March 09, 2007
DO THIS YOGASANA AFTER LUNCH, IT REALLY HELPS YOU STAY HEALTHY
(IF ALREADY DOING PLEASE IGNORE.... SORRY FOR THE DISTURBANCE. YOU CAN CONTINUE .......!)
Just see the picture below ...
You might have said: Krishna Janmastmi.
Well you are absoultely ....
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Wrong !!
Scroll down for answer
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Scroll Down
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Its "RAKSHA BHANDHAN"
Thursday, March 08, 2007
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